Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
