i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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