They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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