i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
