he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
