And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
