you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
