yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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