Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
