I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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