Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
