all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm always down for nudity.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize