omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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