That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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