whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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