I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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