grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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