lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
