i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up under a house in Key West
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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