Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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