I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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