I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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