Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
