if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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