I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize