his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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