cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
