is your mom at the bar?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
