I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
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I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize