Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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