I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize