I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
