So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
