yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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