I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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