I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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