I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize