he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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