apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
