he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize