At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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