whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
