Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
