Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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