Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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