I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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