you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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