What a fucking waste of an outfit
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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