Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
