I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
