My hand turned me down
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
