Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
