apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
