this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do vagina's smell?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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