Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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