there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
