**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
