Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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