i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
this is an emotional support booty call
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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