Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
honey bunches of taint.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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