I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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